i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Randomize
