you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
Randomize