im holly from the hills drunk
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
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