how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
Randomize
