I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
