I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
