i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
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