Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
Little spoons don't ask big questions
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
Randomize
