1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Randomize
