Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
