writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
did i just pee glitter
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Randomize
