you have to choose: penises or morals?
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Send help, water and tortillas.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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