Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
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