She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
He called his prostate his "boner button".
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
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