why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Randomize
