I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
