Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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