I wish i was in the wii world.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
Randomize
