so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
