your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
