I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
