Have you finally orgasmed yet?
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
