I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
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