I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Randomize
