Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
wow bdsm is so cute
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
