well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize