i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
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