Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Randomize
