We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
