His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Randomize
