Porn is love you can see.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
