Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
The adults are the big ones right?
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
