4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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