Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
