I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
