and you said cock pushups were impossible
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Randomize
