do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
you never un-have a 4some
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Randomize
