This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
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