what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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