you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize