we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
Randomize
