Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Randomize
