Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
