Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
