a queef is a wish your heart makes.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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