She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
Randomize
