I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Randomize
