At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
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