I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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