i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
