he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
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