my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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