Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Randomize
