i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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