also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
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