We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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