you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Randomize
