the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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