Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
