If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Randomize
