dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
I think we might need a safe word for this...
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
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