i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
i just made my gag reflex go away.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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