guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
